January 2026 – Carbonated Opinions

A satirical, photorealistic scene on a beach where a rumpled executive and a PR person holding a "WE TAKE THIS VERY SERIOUSLY" sign stand near an iridescent oil slick. In the background, a group of executives in spotless white coveralls poses for a photo-op while a single, tired worker performs actual cleanup.

Oil Spills and the Art of Corporate Shrugging

⚫Retrograde Planet / January 31, 2026 / Rob

A major oil spills list is a recurring invoice: PR dabs, the stain stays. What spills do and why cleanup rarely wins.

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A photorealistic satirical scene of a cotton tote bag in a shopping cart, staged with a halo of price tags and recycled symbols, filled with plastic-wrapped groceries.

Reusable Bags, Disposable Ethics

🟢Greenwashed & Loving It / January 27, 2026 / Rob

Reusable bags aren’t salvation with handles. Use them dozens of times—or admit you’re just buying a tote-shaped feeling.

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A photorealistic, high-key image of a man sized hamster wheel of consumerism. Leading to the messy "reality" side of trash sorting.

Circular Economy or Just Going in Circles?

🟤Trash Talk / January 24, 2026 / Rob

A witty, skeptical look at the circular economy: promising in theory, messy in practice — and what actually moves the needle.

Circular Economy or Just Going in Circles? Read More »

A photorealistic close-up of a hand holding a melting vanilla ice cream cone on a sunlit sidewalk. The scoop is a miniature Arctic landscape with a tiny, realistic polar bear standing on a shrinking ice floe. Meltwater runs down the cone, serving as a visual metaphor for global warming. The text "Carbonated Opinions" appears in the lower right.

The Physics of a Melting Ice Cream Cone (and the Arctic)

🔵Eco Mythbusters / January 21, 2026 / Rob

Witty myth-busting piece: likening a melting ice cream cone to Arctic warming—asking why is ice melting, covering heat transfer, albedo, permafrost, and responses.

The Physics of a Melting Ice Cream Cone (and the Arctic) Read More »

A photorealistic satirical scene in a modern living room at 2 a.m. A weary woman sits on a sofa doomscrolling on her phone while a polite man wearing an 'Eco-Anxiety' sash offers her tea. A projector in the background displays soft-glowing climate headlines and a melting earth, while the coffee table holds a compost bin and flyers for local activism.

Eco Anxiety Meaning: When Climate Worry Becomes a Lifestyle

🔴Fizz & Fury / January 18, 2026 / Rob

Eco-anxiety explained without wellness clichés. Climate fear, doomscrolling, and why collective action beats reusable straws.

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A photorealistic satirical scene on a sunlit cafe table featuring the Paris Agreement contract with literal holes, a takeaway box of fries labeled "Count as Vegetables," and a "Frequent Loophole Rewards" card, representing climate policy complexities.

The Paris Agreement: Now with Extra Loopholes

🟡Policy Popcorn / January 14, 2026 / Rob

Paris is the world’s climate diet plan: everyone promises kale, then asks if fries count as vegetables. Which loophole makes you angriest?

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A photorealistic satirical image of a man in a sunlit room reading a vintage magazine about lead paint. On a table sit a lead test kit, protective gloves, and a paint can. A gloved hand shields a toddler’s "IQ" blocks from falling paint chips that subtly transform into tiny brain icons.

Lead Paint and Other Vintage Mistakes

⚫Retrograde Planet / January 11, 2026 / Rob

Lead paint: great coverage, terrible legacy. A sarcastic tour of why lead paint is dangerous and how vintage homes still leak consequences.

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A sarcastic time traveler in a Roman toga and modern field jacket examines an olive pit with exasperation in a Roman forum. The scene transitions from ancient ruins to a modern street with scattered litter, featuring soft feathered white edges and the blog name "Carbonated Opinions.

The History of Littering: From Roman Streets to Fast Food Wrappers

⚫Retrograde Planet / January 7, 2026 / Rob

Emperors tossed olive pits like confetti. The history of littering proves humans have always been creative about making messes—often on purpose.

The History of Littering: From Roman Streets to Fast Food Wrappers Read More »

A satirical, photorealistic campaign stage set against a clean white background. Two charismatic politicians in pastel suits gesture at podiums labeled "NET-ZERO 2030!" while a damp inflatable globe sits neglected in the front row. In the background, lobbyists exchange hors d'oeuvres labeled "exemptions" and "delays," and a scoreboard shows a high "Applause Meter" vs. low "Climate Metrics."

When Climate Policy Meets Election Season

🟡Policy Popcorn / January 4, 2026 / Rob

Elections turn climate policy into Broadway: glittery promises, lobbyist intermissions, and the planet stuck in the nosebleeds.

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